It’s Every Dog’s Dream

Every Dog's Dream - by C-Section Comics

I’m your dog.

I’m your pet, a good boy.
I protect you, and your toy
back I brought.

You’re my master.

You’re the leader of my pack,
but my nose you somehow smack
quite a lot.

We’re best friends.

But we’re no way equal, no.
“I’m above you, you’re below”,
I was taught.

And I hate you.

Boy I want to kill you, ooh!
I’m just kidding, I love you…
Maybe not…

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Here’s another comic about dogs, more precisely about the sexual preferences of dogs.

Now go give your tamed wolf a big hug, lest it dream of killing you.

Moving in Together

Moving in Together - by C-Section Comics

Moving in together, after going steady.
Moving in together – are you sure you’re ready?
It’s a big step girl, living with a man
in a small apartment smelling like a garbage can.

Piss around the toilet (since his highness cannot aim),
he stays all night playing his idiotic video game,
His majesty wants you to clean his dirty underwear –
“My mom used to do it, baby don’t give me that glare!”

Cook him dinner, wash the floor – chores that never end.
He treats you like a servant, you’re no longer the girlfriend.
Girl you do not need this crap, leave and do not stay!
Find a girl, move in with her (you can pretend you’re gay).

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Here’s a happier comic about love, and here’s another comic with talking animals

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Good Boy

Good Boy - by C-Section Comics

Fido, it’s a bear, don’t dread –
Quick! Roll over and play dead.
Full respiratory arrest –
Good Boy Fido, I’m impressed!

Bear comes and sniffs Fido’s corpse
Such a trained dog! (Duh, of course)
Shake! Now heel! Jump like a frog!
Now beg for your life, you dawg!

Good boy.

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Here’s another comic about dogs.

The Second Plague of Egypt

Frogs - The Second Plague of Egypt - Frenchman

Frogs had swarmed the land of Egypt
Jumped and went all “Ribbit! Ribbit!”
They frightened the community,
but some saw opportunity…

See, one’s plague is another’s pleasure,
one’s junk is another’s treasure.
Some feel frogs are vile as dung,
while others feel them with their tongue.

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Here’s a comic not so vague
about Egypt’s very first plague.

They’re Just like Us

Just Like Us / by C-Section Comics

Robots will replace us all,
I think it’s pretty clear.
They are stronger, smarter, better,
and way more sincere.

They don’t need no food or sleep,
no paid leave or lunch breaks.
They don’t need no smoking zones,
they have what it takes
to make us obsolete one day
and to take our place.
(The truth is hard to hear but I’ll still
shove it in your face.)

Why are we not stopping this?
Because we’re humans, really.
We don’t think that far ahead,
hey, “carpe diem”, silly!

So robots will replace us
and they’ll either kill us all,
or put us in a human zoo
(I think it’s called a “mall”).

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They’re just like us, but they have their limits – here’s one, in this comic about robots and AI.