Children's Books Archives - C-Section Comics

Good Use

Tell me the truth friend, don’t utter no lie:
What would they use me for after I die?

If I were a tree, I would be kindlewood,
or a house, or a book. Yup, that sounds really good.

If I were a cow, they’d put me on the grill.
The barbecue’s star, many stomachs I’d fill!

But I’m just a human, so no surprise here:
I shall be maggot food, that’s the sad truth my dear.

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Not sure what kind of tree I drew. Might be a “wiping willow”.

Here’s another comic featuring toilet paper.
And here’s an oldie parodying the Giving Tree

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Aw, what a doll!

Mister Gepetto
lived in a borghetto
(That’s Italian for “a little town”)
He worked with hard wood
carved whatever he could
his works earned him a lot of renown.

One sunny day
he felt cheerful and gay
and a puppet of wood he then made,
The puppet was alive,
it had a real drive –
it kicked and it talked and it played.

He was not just a toy –
no, he was a real boy!
Pinocchio’s the name, there you go.
Still I find it quite odd
that a man who’s this old
would build puppets with organs that grow.

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Here’s another comic with that doll that’s made of wood
Pinocchio would just lie forever if he only could

Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret

Are you there Margaret? It’s me, God.
Here’s the truth girl, you’ll be awed:
There’s no meaning to your life;
The world is filled with pain and strife;
Suffering is all too rife;
Don’t expect an afterlife;
Every hope ends in despair;
There’s no point in faith or prayer;
Margaret, are you still there?
Oh shit! don’t jump off the chair
with that rope tied ’round you neck!
I was kidding, what the heck?
Life is great! It’s all we’ve got:
Food and sex and smoking pot,
video games, TV and books,
life is better than it looks.
Finding purpose? We’ll get there –
just don’t jump off that fucking chair.