Putting Love at the Centaur

Centaur Love - by C-Section Comics

And now, presenting the world’s most awful centaur puns:

  • What do you call a half horse half man at the mall? Shopping centaur.
  • What do you call a half horse half man not breathing? Dead centaur.
  • What do you call a half horse half man junkie? Methadone centaur.
  • What do you call a half horse half woman drama queen? Hover the mouse over the cartoon to find out.
  • And finally (this last one is the worst): What do you call a half horse half man in the army? A Centaurion.

Finally, here’s a drawing of my favorite centaurette.

 

Eight Days of Presents

Eight Days of Presents - Hanukkah Cartoon by C-Section Comics

The habit of having eight days of presents for Khanukah is a rather recent, less traditional aspect of the Jewish festival of lights. It’s common today mostly in North America, imitating the habit of exchanging gifts on Christmas Eve.

And now for the price. There are numerous ways to pronounce Khanukah, but in order to properly pronounce it (as in Ḥănukkāh, in Hebrew – חֲנֻכָּה‎ or חנוכה) you have to be either a Jew, a German, a Scotsman or a Klingon. The ‘Kh’ in Khanukah is pronounced like the “ch” in German “ach” or Scottish “loch”, or the “H” in Klingon (that throaty sound that Klingons make that sounds as if they’re clearing their throats or choking on a traditional jelly doughnut).

There at least as many ways of writing Khanukah as there are pronouncing it. According to Wiktionary, Hanukkah is the most popular form, but you can also write it as Chanukah, Hanukah, Hanuka, Chanuka, Chanukka, Chanukkah, Hannuka, Khanukah, Chanuko, Channukah, Hannukah, Channuka, Hanukka, Chanuca and Chanuccah. The forms Hannukka, Channukkah and Chanucca are very rare.

 

Confused? You won’t be after this video showing how to pronounce Khanukah:

 

Instead of spoiling yourself with eight days of presents, why not read some more comics about Jewish traditions, like this one about how the patriarch Abraham screwed generations of Jews, or this one about Jewish weddings, or this recent one about the wonderful Jewish tradition of arguing.

 

Happy Hanukkah and Merry Christmas everybody!

Questions Only

Questions Only - by C-Section Comics

I used to love watching the questions only game on Who’s Line Is It Anyway, the reason being that growing up Jewish, I was all too familiar with the concept. My parents are masters of arguing questions only style. They can fight like this for hours. In fact, this comic is based on an actual fight they had the other day. The only difference is that my father has more hair, and my mother has less hair (but more eyes).

Generally speaking, growing up Jewish is awesome because you never run out of cartoon ideas. That’s probably why Jewish people are so funny.

And depressed.

Want some examples? Why not read some more Jewish cartoons? Like the one about how dragons would suck at being Jewish? Or the one about Jesus’s mom ? or the one about why your mom shouldn’t be your Facebook friend (especially if your mom’s Jewish)? See what I did here? With this last paragraph consisting of questions only? You didn’t see it? How didn’t you see it? How could a person with any sense in his head not see it? How do you expect to be successful in life when you can’t see such a simple thing? What do you mean you don’t want to be successful? Did I raise you that way? Ok my arms are getting tired, but we’ll talk about it tomorrow.

Every Woody Allen Movie Ever

Woody Allen Movies - by C-Section Comics

In the sexual creepiness level, Woody Allen falls somewhere between Bill Cosby and Roman Polanski. Woody Allen is married to Soon-Yi Previn, the adopted daughter of his former Partner/Lover Mia Farrow (Farrow and Allen never married). According to Wikipedia, Allen began a relationship with Previn while he was still in a relationship with Previn’s mother.

In a recent interview , Allen explained the key to their relationship:

“I’m 35 years older, and somehow, through no fault of mine or hers, the dynamic worked. I was paternal. She responded to someone paternal. I liked her youth and energy. She deferred to me, and I was happy to give her an enormous amount of decision making just as a gift and let her take charge of so many things.”

 

(For the record, I truly enjoy watching most Woody Allen movies, though it has come come to the point that if I start watching one of them in the middle, I can’t tell which one I’m watching. But when you think of it, since they’re all the same, it doesn’t really matter.)

 

Feeling Nauseous? Why not read this comic about another famous Hollywood producer, or these comics about TV shows?

The Circle of Love

The Circle of Love - by C-Section Comics

The Circle of Love is like a donut.

A round, tasty donut.

A round, tasty, chocolate frosted donut. With sprinkles. And creme. And oh for the love of god who cares about love just shove donuts to my face!!!

Sometimes love is a circle, but sometimes love is a straight dead end line.

EDIT: This comic made it to the top of Reddit’s /r/funny, and was second on Reddit’s front page. As often happens when I post a comic to Reddit, it stirred quite a discussion. This time the conversation was about love, relationships, marriage and obesity, including some confessions from people who lost weight for love or to maintain their relationship, and a very interesting comment from a clinician who treats overweight people with diabetes on a daily basis.

As often happens with art, it gets interpreted in ways the artist didn’t expect. Some people saw this comic as me encouraging people to become fat and neglect their health, while my intention was in fact to support people who accept themselves, and their loved ones, without allowing anyone to discourage them. This is of course is not a substitute for people taking responsibility for their health. Where’s the balance? That’s for you, and your physician, to decide. Anyway, you can read the actual comments on Reddit.