Tag: God

God’s Grand Plan

God's grand plan

“It’s all part of God’s grand plan.”
Since humanity began,
karma, luck, and even fate
have controlled our lives to date.

That’s why we all felt much dread
when Nietzsche stood one day and said
that everything is random, ’cause
chaos rules, no divine laws.

Does the world have a grand plan?
Or was Nietzsche right? Oh man,
who am I to say who’s right?
This gives me a headache… g’night.

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Now you know why there’s a separate heaven for doggies.

Here’s another comic about a dreamy dog.
And here’s my entire archive of comics about God.

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Part of God’s grand plan is that you follow my comics on Instagram and Twitter.

purpose_of_life()

Purpose of Life - by C-Section Comics

The Universe module is rapidly growing.
development is still ongoing,
now we shall provide some data
on bugs that will be fixed in beta:
People’s life will have a meaning
(otherwise it’s quite demeaning);
No more babies getting killed;
No more cancer, aren’t you thrilled?
No more lust and no more greed,
everyone has all they need;
No more wars, no disease;
Want world peace? It’s a breeze;
That is all that we can say
’bout the next version, but hey,
it won’t be perfect, I tell you:
There’ll be new bugs, quite a few,
and judging by the previous runs,
they’ll be fucking major ones.

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Yes, God uses snake case.

Here’s another comic about God and the Meaning of Life

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get_comics_in_feed (Instagram , Twitter, Facebook );

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What bugs do you think Universe (beta) will have?
(Like, could you inject malicious code that will cause the Universe module to divide by zero?)

The Binding of Isaac

The binding of Isaac - by C-Section Comics

God decided that he needs to test old Abraham,
so he said to him: “Yo Abe, looking good dawg, damn!
Take your son, your only son, the one you love the most,
sacrifice him on that mountain, burn him like a toast!”
Abraham without a flinch said “Ok boss, no sweat.
I will kill him just for you, sure I will, you bet!”
See Abraham was what you’d call a blindly loyal guy,
the most faithful dude that ever walked the planet (sigh).
But God did not mean Abraham to kill his boy for real,
he quickly sent an angel saying: “Look Abe, break the deal”.
But Oy Vey, the angel was a little bit too late.
Abraham already killed the boy. And that’s the fate
of people who are TOO faithful. Because my friend, you see,
God created you a brain, so please use it wisely.
Hearing voices in your head? It might well be the Lord,
or perhaps you’re nuts so don’t go kill kids with a sword.

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Here’s an older comic featuring Abraham
And here’s my entire archive of biblicalcomics.

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Bind yourself to my comics on Instagram and Twitter.

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Here’s the biblical text describing the binding of Isaac (Genesis 22, King James Version):

1 And it came to pass after these things, that God did tempt Abraham, and said unto him, Abraham: and he said, Behold, here I am.

2 And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.

3 And Abraham rose up early in the morning, and saddled his ass, and took two of his young men with him, and Isaac his son, and clave the wood for the burnt offering, and rose up, and went unto the place of which God had told him.

4 Then on the third day Abraham lifted up his eyes, and saw the place afar off.

5 And Abraham said unto his young men, Abide ye here with the ass; and I and the lad will go yonder and worship, and come again to you.

6 And Abraham took the wood of the burnt offering, and laid it upon Isaac his son; and he took the fire in his hand, and a knife; and they went both of them together.

7 And Isaac spake unto Abraham his father, and said, My father: and he said, Here am I, my son. And he said, Behold the fire and the wood: but where is the lamb for a burnt offering?

8 And Abraham said, My son, God will provide himself a lamb for a burnt offering: so they went both of them together.

9 And they came to the place which God had told him of; and Abraham built an altar there, and laid the wood in order, and bound Isaac his son, and laid him on the altar upon the wood.

10 And Abraham stretched forth his hand, and took the knife to slay his son.

11 And the angel of the Lord called unto him out of heaven, and said, Abraham, Abraham: and he said, Here am I.

12 And he said, Lay not thine hand upon the lad, neither do thou any thing unto him: for now I know that thou fearest God, seeing thou hast not withheld thy son, thine only son from me.

13 And Abraham lifted up his eyes, and looked, and behold behind him a ram caught in a thicket by his horns: and Abraham went and took the ram, and offered him up for a burnt offering in the stead of his son.

14 And Abraham called the name of that place Jehovahjireh: as it is said to this day, In the mount of the Lord it shall be seen.

15 And the angel of the Lord called unto Abraham out of heaven the second time,

16 And said, By myself have I sworn, saith the Lord, for because thou hast done this thing, and hast not withheld thy son, thine only son:

17 That in blessing I will bless thee, and in multiplying I will multiply thy seed as the stars of the heaven, and as the sand which is upon the sea shore; and thy seed shall possess the gate of his enemies;

18 And in thy seed shall all the nations of the earth be blessed; because thou hast obeyed my voice.

19 So Abraham returned unto his young men, and they rose up and went together to Beersheba; and Abraham dwelt at Beersheba.

The Gift of Life

The Gift of Life - Comics

The Gift of Life is without doubt
the greatest gift that we receive.
This gift is too good to be true.
Myself, I simply can’t believe
that we had beaten all the odds
and we’re alive on this old rock,
which hovers in infinite space.
To me it’s really quite a shock.

Alas, it’s not that simple, though.
Let’s all just wait with the applause,
’cause all of this is transient,
and I say “all of this” because
the gift of life is NOT a gift.
It’s actually more like a loan.
We get our life, but in the end
we give it back to Death. It’s known.

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Here’s another comic about the subtle timing of death.

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Expulsion from Eden

The Expulsion from the Garden of Eden

Does God look like an old man?
Artists sure do feel this way.
I’m not sure what God looks like,
but he sure ACTS old, I’ll say.

“Adam! Eve! What did you do?
Did you eat fruit from my tree?
That’s it kids, get out of here,
no more food and drinks for free!

You’re expelled from Eden, kids.
You’ll work hard to make a living.
See my middle finger here?
That’s how many fucks I’m giving!

So don’t cry and don’t complain,
it won’t do you any good.
You kids brought this on yourselves:
Taco Bell shall be your food!”

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How narcissistic am I? I used my own hand as a reference to God.

Here’s a previous comic featuring Eve and the Serpent.

To get my comics on your feed follow me Instagram and Twitter.

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Here’s the biblical text (Fall of Man, Genesis 3):

And they heard the voice of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day: and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God amongst the trees of the garden.
And the Lord God called unto Adam, and said unto him, Where art thou?
And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked; and I hid myself.
And he said, Who told thee that thou wast naked? Hast thou eaten of the tree, whereof I commanded thee that thou shouldest not eat?

…

Therefore the Lord God sent him forth from the garden of Eden, to till the ground from whence he was taken.
So he drove out the man; and he placed at the east of the garden of Eden Cherubims, and a flaming sword which turned every way, to keep the way of the tree of life.