Meet Your Girlfriend’s Dad

Girlfriend's dad

When you sleep with your girlfriend
you sleep with her dad.
I know it’s disturbing,
it’s certainly sad,
but genetically speaking,
it’s technically true.
You sleep with your girlfriend –
her dad sleeps with you.

When you sleep with your boyfriend
you sleep with his mom.
I know it’s disgusting,
but let’s remain calm.
Your boyfriend possesses half
of his mom’s genes
Take a moment to think just
what it all means.

So sex with your partner
is like sex with his folks
with a few extra steps.
It is known, it’s no hoax.
I’m Sorry I ruined
your sex life for you.
(See, I don’t get any,
and now you don’t, too!)

And,
If you’re one of those people
with fantasies ’bout
some incestral sex, well,
have some more doubt.
‘Cause besides of it being disgusting
(ugh, ewww)
you fantasize ’bout
having sex with, well, you.

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Meeting your girlfriend’s dad is like going to the proctologist. There’s little joy in it for either him or you, but sometimes you just need to get your ass there and do it.

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Want more comics? Here are all my comics featuring weird parents.
Show’em to your girlfriend’s dad next time you meet him. Either he’ll laugh, or you’ll cry.

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Tell your girlfriend’s dad to follow me on Instagram and Twitter. It’s like subscribing to our RSS feed with extra steps.

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First Steps

First Steps in the Corporate World - Comic

First steps in the corporate world:
welcome to your new job, bro.
Study, work, make sure to kiss-up
to the ones who run the show.

First steps in the corporate world:
trust no one, you understand?
Keep your focus on promotion,
this is what you really planned.

First steps in the corporate world:
you’re promoted? Good for you!
Manage them with kindness, but still,
make sure you are ruthless too.

First steps in the corporate world:
fire every guy you can.
and get new folks to replace them,
they’ll be loyal to you, man.

First steps in the corporate world:
Dracarys! Burn it all!
From the ashes there shall rise
the great phoenix, proud and tall.

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The first step to being updated with my comics is to follow me on Instagram and Twitter.

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Want another comic? Here’s a real oldie with some Job Searching Tips

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Speaking of first steps, I’m making my first steps on Youtube (you can subscribe here). Here’s a video of me speed drawing a cute unicorn. And then drawing a not-so-cute unicorn

Identity Politics

Identity Politics

All our problems we will fix
with identity politics.
Power to the under-powered.
Vote, revolt, don’t be a coward!

Who we’ll vote for? Quickly, choose:
females, blacks, Latinos, Jews,
Asians, penguins, even whales!
(Anything but old white males.)

Talents? Skills? Don’t make me grin.
We shall vote by color of skin
Do the candidates have breasts?
Yes? Well, then they passed our tests.

Let me give you my one cent:
When voting for government
choose the ones who’re qualified
and which acted bona fide.

Vote by “who” and not by “what”.
Vote by brain, and yes, by gut.
Female, male, black, or white
You must make the choice that’s right.

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Here’s another comic about identity politics.

Now go to bed, grown ups are talking.

Dad Jokes

Dad Jokes - Pun Cartoon

Dad jokes are a sad facade
behind them – an unhappy man,
lost in a suburban hell,
trapped inside in a minivan.

Dad jokes are a beam of light
for a guy who has no life,
gave up spare time for a job,
providing for his kids and wife.

So next time that you hear your dad
telling jokes that he ought not,
smile to him and hug him dearly
because my friend, it’s all he’s got.

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More comics about dads?
Here’s a comic about Dad having “the talk” with junior.
Here’s a comic about Dad teaching us some table manners.
And here’s my entire parenting archive.

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UPDATE: This comic reached reddit’s front page, generating interesting conversation about parenthood, frustration, and hope.

UPDATE 2: Some of you may know that if you hover over the main comic image, you may get an extra joke (try it now). Someone on reddit took the pun in the comic’s hover text seriously and printed this comic on paper to prove that it’s indeed “tearable”… Thanks, /u/coldstar !

Terrible Twos

Terrible Twos vs Teenage Years - by C-Section Comics

During that period called “Terrible Twos”
your kids will decide on their own don’ts and dos:
They’ll accuse, they’ll abuse, they will have their own views,
but most and foremost – they will refuse.

-“Dinner?” -“Refuse!” -“Sleep?” -“No, refuse!”
They won’t even put on their own goddamn shoes.
Terrible Twos go away, that’s good news,
but ten plus years later comes a teenager who’s
just as obnoxious and bent on “Refuse!”.

They cover their bodies with little tattoos,
in anger and pimples their lives are infused.
Whatever you do, you are destined to lose.
Parenting sure ain’t no luxury cruise.

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More comics about parenting: