Sticks and Stones

Sticks and Stones - by C-Section Comics

Sticks and stones may break my bones,
but swords will cut them cleanly.
Guns will put big holes in them,
spears will pierce them fiercely.
Knives may scratch them, fire burn
and heat them like the sun,
but nukes will melt them instantly
so they’re my favorite one!

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Here’s all of my history comics here (click on individual post to see the bonus panels).

And here’s another comic featuring David and Goliath.

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More comics with words that cannot hurt you on Instagram and Twitter.

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Sorting Hat

Sorting Hat of Hogwarts

Nine Eleven? Inside job.
Moon landing? Just a hoax.
Vaccines? Cause autism (and
they poison us, dear folks).
Corona? It’s a Chinese plot
to make us all go broke.
Bill Gates? He’s behind it too
(5G, it ain’t no joke).
Zionists? Control the world.
The Clintons? They’re reptile.
Earth? It is in fact quite flat.
(don’t laugh, you’re in denial).
“Conspirator” they call me, and they say
that I’m a boob.
But these are all hard FACTS!
After all, they’re on YOUTUBE(!!!)

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Fact: at best the sorting hat would still perform at O(n log n)

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Here’s a previous Harry Potter cartoon.
And here’s a previous cartoon taking a shot at anti-vaxxers (sort of…)

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Learn the TRUTH by following my comics on Instagram and Twitter.

Historical Figures

Judging Historical Figures

Churchill was a racist and King Tut owned many slaves.
Hannibal killed elephants, the Alps are now their graves.
Caesar was a patriarch (like all male Romans were).
Jesus? A misogynist (you know, like young Bill Burr).

Jefferson owned slaves (about six hundred, give or take).
Edward the first had Wallace’s head put on a stake.
He also led an ethnic cleansing – all of England’s Jews
had to leave to country, and they didn’t get to choose.

Columbus fought the natives, he killed and captured slaves,
took their gold and sent it back to Spain across the waves.
Suleiman the First, he had a sex slave ,Polish girl.
(Ottomans had sex slaves ’till a century ago!)

History is full of awful things, mankind ain’t pure.
Those who do not know it will repeat it, that’s for sure.
But should we judge them all by moral standards of today?
I refuse to do it, but I get people who may.

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I’m really not sure how I feel about the latest statue defacing of historical figures such as Winston Churchill and Christopher Columbus. I’ll rephrase that – the Churchill thing is pure dumbness – how is the man who led Great Britain in its fight against Nazi Germany suddenly considered the bad guy?! But I do understand how Christopher Columbus can be seen as a negative character in history.

This tweet by Dr. Einat Wilf gives an interesting point of view I can easily relate to (especially since I’m Jewish):

“If Jews took down symbols of their discrimination, oppression, persecution, ethnic cleansing and genocide, not a stone or a flag would remain across the Western and Islamic worlds. Human history is mostly one of brutality and exploitation. To move forward we remember, not erase.”

As Dr. Wilf mentioned, Europe is filled with monuments of rulers and other historical figures who persecuted my people. The Catholic Monarchs Ferdinand and Isabella, for example, are responsible for the ethnic cleansing of Jews from Spain (which peaked in 1492). I’ve traveled in Spain and have been in a monument dedicated to the two, but I’ve never felt any urge to deface their statues. For me they’re historical figures, who did awful things to my people as well as other peoples (they’re the monarchs who sent Columbus to his voyage). But they’re part of Spain’s history, for better or for worse.

On the other hand, I try to think how I’d react if I saw a statue of Adolf Hitler in Germany. Two of my grandparents survived the Jewish Holocaust, and both are the sole survivors of their respective families – meaning their entire families were destroyed. So in that case it’s a more recent experience, and much closer to me personally. I guess seeing a statue of Hitler would stir anger in me. But maybe if the plaque below the statue would mention his terrible acts, It’ll be easier for me to see the statue as a way of remembering the person and his horrible deeds, knowing he was real and was responsible for those great atrocities.

So yes, I am confused. But one thing I’m less confused about: I don’t like mobs. If a statue is to be removed, it shouldn’t be by vandals. It should be taken down in orderly manner, probably after some kind of majority vote place among the people who live in the area took place. The statue should certainly not be destroyed. Rather, it should be taken to the museum, so that history is not erased or forgotten. Otherwise, we’re no different than the Taliban blowing up statues in Afghanistan for not conforming with their religious and ideological beliefs.

Last, judging historical figures by modern standards does not make a lot of sense to me. Hitler, Genghis Khan, Attila – were all considered ruthless, vicious and extremely cruel even by the standards of their own times. But different historical periods had different standards. Slavery was relatively common in the ancient world, even among the most enlightened and civilized cultures. When a city was captured after a long siege, it was not uncommon for their citizens to be murdered, raped, enslaved – women and children included. In many societies children, and sometimes women, were considered the property of men. The Egyptian Pharaohs practiced incestuous marriage, and Roman noblemen used to marry young teenage girls.

Future generations may question our way of living – maybe they’ll question how we treated the planet, or how we depleted its resources, or how we consumed the flesh of other living things, or the fact that we’re still waging wars, or the way wealth is distributed in our societies. That does not necessarily make us evil. Most of us are living by standards that feel right to us, but are probably different from the ones that our children or grandchildren will live by.

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Here’s a comic where I judge historical military uniforms by modern standards.

And here’s a comic taking place back in medieval times.

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You can judge my past comics by modern standards on Instagram and Twitter.

Eighties Action Movie

Eighties Action Movie

Action movie, eighties style:
muscles, shootings, toothless smile.
Lots of catchphrases to quote,
pushing violence down your throat.
Wicked villains, spiky hair,
German accents everywhere.
M16s on fully-auto,
“Kill or die”, that is the motto.
Helicopters, jungle, bomb,
“This is just like Vietnam…”
Hero killing dozens while
he remains unhurt, such style.
Female sidekick, hot as hell,
he will fall under her spell.
Happy ending, music track,
next year’s sequel – “I’ll be back!”

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Some loose inspirations for the characters drawn in this comic:
For the villain – Hans from Die Hard (German accent!)
For the cop – Schwarzenegger in Terminator/Commando/Red Heat (German accent!), Bruce Willis as John McClane in Die Hard.
(And basically any action movie I watched as a kid).

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Here’s another comic about “Terminator”.
And another movie satire (Wizard of Oz).
And another comic about using accents in movies.

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There’s plenty of action going on in my Instagram and Twitter accounts.

Rapunzel

Rapunzel and the Coronavirus

Rapunzel let her hair down so the prince could climb it up.
Little did she know he was an undercover cop:
“I’m giving you a fine (it’s five hundred bucks) because
you broke one of my many social distancing laws”.

After that he fined a dwarf, a good friend of Snow White –
he didn’t wear a mask: “Are you doing it for spite?”
Little Mermaid got a fine for staying at the beach.
Tiana kissing frogs? “Oh I will fine that careless witch!”

Little red riding hood was issued a decree:
“Visiting your GRANDMA? Are you fucking kidding me?!”
Cinderella at a BANQUET – dancing all around,
Good thing that her sisters told him where she could be found.

Prince kept writing fines until his pen went dry of ink.
“I hope these fines will make those awful people stop and think
about how social distancing is good for us. No wait,
It’s not about some virus. It’s just PEOPLE that I HATE.

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If you go with the Disney movie, the whole Rapunzel story takes place in the kingdom of Corona.

Here’s another comic about a fairy tale princess.
And here’s another my entire archive of Coronavirus cartoons.

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Stuck in a Rapunzel-style quarantine? Follow my comics on Instagram and Twitter.

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