God will do anything to make Margaret stop talking about her period.

Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret

Are you there Margaret? It’s me, God.
Here’s the truth girl, you’ll be awed:
There’s no meaning to your life;
The world is filled with pain and strife;
Suffering is all too rife;
Don’t expect an afterlife;
Every hope ends in despair;
There’s no point in faith or prayer;
Margaret, are you still there?
Oh shit! don’t jump off the chair
with that rope tied ’round you neck!
I was kidding, what the heck?
Life is great! It’s all we’ve got:
Food and sex and smoking pot,
video games, TV and books,
life is better than it looks.
Finding purpose? We’ll get there –
just don’t jump off that fucking chair.