Also genetically true: having sex with a person is 96% having sex with a chimp, or 60% having sex with a banana.

Meet Your Girlfriend’s Dad

When you sleep with your girlfriend
you sleep with her dad.
I know it’s disturbing,
it’s certainly sad,
but genetically speaking,
it’s technically true.
You sleep with your girlfriend –
her dad sleeps with you.

When you sleep with your boyfriend
you sleep with his mom.
I know it’s disgusting,
but let’s remain calm.
Your boyfriend possesses half
of his mom’s genes
Take a moment to think just
what it all means.

So sex with your partner
is like sex with his folks
with a few extra steps.
It is known, it’s no hoax.
I’m Sorry I ruined
your sex life for you.
(See, I don’t get any,
and now you don’t, too!)

And,
If you’re one of those people
with fantasies ’bout
some incestral sex, well,
have some more doubt.
‘Cause besides of it being disgusting
(ugh, ewww)
you fantasize ’bout
having sex with, well, you.

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Meeting your girlfriend’s dad is like going to the proctologist. There’s little joy in it for either him or you, but sometimes you just need to get your ass there and do it.

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Want more comics? Here are all my comics featuring weird parents.
Show’em to your girlfriend’s dad next time you meet him. Either he’ll laugh, or you’ll cry.

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Tell your girlfriend’s dad to follow me on Instagram and Twitter. It’s like subscribing to our RSS feed with extra steps.

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