Rapunzel

Rapunzel and the Coronavirus

Rapunzel let her hair down so the prince could climb it up.
Little did she know he was an undercover cop:
“I’m giving you a fine (it’s five hundred bucks) because
you broke one of my many social distancing laws”.

After that he fined a dwarf, a good friend of Snow White –
he didn’t wear a mask: “Are you doing it for spite?”
Little Mermaid got a fine for staying at the beach.
Tiana kissing frogs? “Oh I will fine that careless witch!”

Little red riding hood was issued a decree:
“Visiting your GRANDMA? Are you fucking kidding me?!”
Cinderella at a BANQUET – dancing all around,
Good thing that her sisters told him where she could be found.

Prince kept writing fines until his pen went dry of ink.
“I hope these fines will make those awful people stop and think
about how social distancing is good for us. No wait,
It’s not about some virus. It’s just PEOPLE that I HATE.

————

If you go with the Disney movie, the whole Rapunzel story takes place in the kingdom of Corona.

Here’s another comic about a fairy tale princess.
And here’s another my entire archive of Coronavirus cartoons.

————

Stuck in a Rapunzel-style quarantine? Follow my comics on Instagram and Twitter.

———-

Coronavirus Graphs

Coronavirus Graphs

COVID goes up,
economy down,
these terrible graphs
make me put on a frown.

They won’t give me hope,
but wait! They just might:
a simple headstand,
and the future looks bright!

————

Here’s my entire Coronavirus comics archive.

————

More comics to pass your time during the COVID-19 outbreak are waiting for you on Instagram and Twitter.

Coronavirus vs. Alien Invasion

Coronavirus vs. Alien Invasion

When it started we ignored it.
Then we just diminished it.
Then we handled economics.
Then turned it to politics.
Then we dealt with social aspects.
Then we published memes, hooray!
We did EVERYTHING, except
what’s NEEDED to be done, oy vey.

 
————

(Small favor: this comic was inspired by a tweet that I saw the other day about how, judging by the way the US reacted to the Coronavirus, America’s first reaction to an alien invasion would be to lower interest rates. This sparked a whole set of ideas about what humanity’s reaction to an alien invasion would be like, based on our reaction to the Coronavirus. However, I couldn’t find the original tweet. So if by chance any of you encountered it and have the link to it, please let me know in the comments so I could credit the author here. Thanks!)

————

My previous comic which mentioned the Coronavirus was published about a month and a half ago. Back then, COVID-19 was a distant disease that was spreading in Eastern Asia, something you read about in the news and moved on. Who would have thought that just a few weeks later, I would sit in my home with my wife and kids in “isolation” (which is just a nicer word for quarantine), defending myself from the virus? Who would have thought there’d be tens of thousands of dead in Italy and Spain? And thousands in the U.S? (and it’s just the beginning). Who would have thought that so many people would become instantly unemployed, and more people uncertain whether they’ll have a job to return to once the storm passes?

————

As I’ve been obsessed with the virus lately, especially with the numbers, I had to do something to get it out of my system. I decided to put my programming skills to use and created this simple web site, which contains some graphs that illustrate the current status of COVID-19 in various countries that interest me. You can find it here:
http://idans.net/covid19/
It’s somewhat buggy (as it’s been a long time since I last used JavaScript) so you may need to refresh a few times before it loads. And it looks kinda crappy on your smartphone (looks better on tablets/laptops/desktops). But I update the data almost every day. Again, it’s more about my obsession with the data than anything else, but if you find the data interesting or would like some different data on it, let me know in the comments and I just might add it.

————

Finally, my rate of publishing comics will naturally decrease in the next few weeks as I’m focusing on taking care of my family. But I will keep drawing, and I’m sure we’ll get through this dark period and enjoy better days. It will take time, but we’ll get there. In the meantime – stay healthy, and stay at home.

———-

While you isolate yourself at home, check my older comics on Instagram and Twitter.

———-

Meet Your Girlfriend’s Dad

Girlfriend's dad

When you sleep with your girlfriend
you sleep with her dad.
I know it’s disturbing,
it’s certainly sad,
but genetically speaking,
it’s technically true.
You sleep with your girlfriend –
her dad sleeps with you.

When you sleep with your boyfriend
you sleep with his mom.
I know it’s disgusting,
but let’s remain calm.
Your boyfriend possesses half
of his mom’s genes
Take a moment to think just
what it all means.

So sex with your partner
is like sex with his folks
with a few extra steps.
It is known, it’s no hoax.
I’m Sorry I ruined
your sex life for you.
(See, I don’t get any,
and now you don’t, too!)

And,
If you’re one of those people
with fantasies ’bout
some incestral sex, well,
have some more doubt.
‘Cause besides of it being disgusting
(ugh, ewww)
you fantasize ’bout
having sex with, well, you.

————

Meeting your girlfriend’s dad is like going to the proctologist. There’s little joy in it for either him or you, but sometimes you just need to get your ass there and do it.

————

Want more comics? Here are all my comics featuring weird parents.
Show’em to your girlfriend’s dad next time you meet him. Either he’ll laugh, or you’ll cry.

————

Tell your girlfriend’s dad to follow me on Instagram and Twitter. It’s like subscribing to our RSS feed with extra steps.

———-

The Most Insignificant Person in the World

Insignificant - Comics

“Insignificant”, you say?
Useless? Meaningless as naught?
Rub the lamp and Genie may
just help you get the thing you sought.

Wish that you were never born –
and Genie makes this wish come true.
The universal fabric’s torn
a paradox is made, woohoo!

You will return to life asap
to solve the paradox – POOF, SWISH!
Guess what, your life’s still total crap,
plus you just wasted a good wish!

————

Here’s another depressing comic featuring the beefy blue Genie.

————

You can follow my comics on Instagram and Twitter. Or you can not follow them, it’s all insignificant.