Comics Archive - Page 5 of 79

Dress for the Job You Want, Not the Job You Have

“Don’t dress for the job you have, dress for the job you want”,
Johnson’s boss told him, a great advice from a savant.
Johnson quickly dressed-up as a hand, because you see,
that’s the kind of job he wanted – right-hand man he’ll be.
Johnson’s boss did misinterpret Johnson’s real intent,
“Come into my office, son”, he said, sounding content.
Hoping for a big promotion, Johnson closed the door,
instead he got a hand-job! This ain’t what he signed-up for!
Johnson told his colleague all about this strange mix-up.
And the colleague dressed-up as a foot. Yes sir, oh yup.
You may think it’s strange. Me? I think it’s no surprise,
’cause one’s horrific mishap is another’s greatest prize.

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Here’s another comic about a ruthless manager.
And here’s some more office humor.

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Follow the comics you want, not the comics you have, on Instagram and Twitter.

Hip Replacement

“Listen to my pro assessment:
your hubs needs a hip replacement,
so relax, get with the flow.
Hip replacement – here we go!”

First we’ll make him go to sleep,
then we poison him. Don’t weep!
I’ll wipe fresh blood off my scrubs,
You say bye to your dear hubs.

Meet Cool Steve, his hip replacement,
Listen to my next bold statement:
Cool Steve will take care of you.
He’ll be your beloved boo.

Steve’s so tanned. Such a great hue.
He’ll do awesome stuff for you.
Whoa Steve, tell me, why’s your hand
on my buttocks? MY it’s tanned!

OK lady, change of plan:
Steve appears to be MY man.
He likes me. You? Not so much.
I can tell it by his touch.

It’s a twist to our short plot.
Though I’m not gay, hell, I’m not.
I’m still straight but Steve’s SO hip,
that I’m gonna let it slip.”

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Here’s an oldie I drew about wrong side surgery (and other medical mistakes that should never happen).

And here’s more cartoons featuring doctors.

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You can follow my hip cartoons on Instagram and Twitter.

Frog Warts

Bzzz Bzzz here and hiss hiss there,
Frog looks up into the air:
“Here goes the elusive Snitch,
I WILL CATCH IT, HEAR ME WITCH?!

You cursed me some time ago,
turned me to a green froggo,
but I still play Quidditch, fool!
I’m the champ of Hogwarts School!”

Froggy catches the ol’ Snitch.
“I JUST WON AGAIN YOU BITCH!”
Suddenly an angry boy
comes to him. He’s mad (but coy):

“Froggy, come out of the water!
Listen frog, I’m Harry Potter.
I’m the newest champ in town!”
Harry has an upset frown.

“You won’t bring me down again!
Now the boy looks quite insane.
Harry waves his magic wand,
frog’s no longer in the pond.

On that evening, later on,
Harry sits with his friend Ron,
both enjoy a meal that’s green –
frog legs, it’s a French cuisine.

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Here’s another comic featuring frogs.

Funny to think that my previous Harry Potter comic was drawn in 2011. It didn’t have Quidditch in it, but it did feature Google Plus, which was then brand new, and is today discontinued.

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Follow my magical comics on Instagram and Twitter.

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This comic is best read listening to this tune:

(If you’re not familiar with the context you should be happy, because it means you’re way younger than me)

Tricky Tony Hacks the Pentagon

Tricky Tony tried for months to hack the Pentagon.
Finally he did it and his vicious plan went on:
“I will change the language of those military mules.
No more English US, you’re on UK now, you fools!”

Color turned to COLOUR, Favorite to FAVOURITE.
All those needless U’s, they were annoying, quite a bit.
All the Yankees were confused, the couldn’t read a thing.
“Next times Yankees, don’t revolt against your rightful king!”

This was Tony’s sweet revenge, to see the Yanks get pissed,
as Tony was a Yank but also was a royalist,
living in the colonies but loyal to the crown.
“I will be the one that brings the Rebel army down!”

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You can visit the entire archive of Tricky Tony comics here (click on the individual post titles to see the bonus panels).

If you don’t like English UK you can select your preferred language here.

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You can follow your favoUrite comics in full coloUr on Instagram and Twitter.

purpose_of_life()

The Universe module is rapidly growing.
development is still ongoing,
now we shall provide some data
on bugs that will be fixed in beta:
People’s life will have a meaning
(otherwise it’s quite demeaning);
No more babies getting killed;
No more cancer, aren’t you thrilled?
No more lust and no more greed,
everyone has all they need;
No more wars, no disease;
Want world peace? It’s a breeze;
That is all that we can say
’bout the next version, but hey,
it won’t be perfect, I tell you:
There’ll be new bugs, quite a few,
and judging by the previous runs,
they’ll be fucking major ones.

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Yes, God uses snake case.

Here’s another comic about God and the Meaning of Life

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get_comics_in_feed (Instagram , Twitter, Facebook );

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What bugs do you think Universe (beta) will have?
(Like, could you inject malicious code that will cause the Universe module to divide by zero?)