On that day, young Alex Jones was accepted to Hogwarts.

Sorting Hat

Nine Eleven? Inside job.
Moon landing? Just a hoax.
Vaccines? Cause autism (and
they poison us, dear folks).
Corona? It’s a Chinese plot
to make us all go broke.
Bill Gates? He’s behind it too
(5G, it ain’t no joke).
Zionists? Control the world.
The Clintons? They’re reptile.
Earth? It is in fact quite flat.
(don’t laugh, you’re in denial).
“Conspirator” they call me, and they say
that I’m a boob.
But these are all hard FACTS!
After all, they’re on YOUTUBE(!!!)

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Fact: at best the sorting hat would still perform at O(n log n)

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Here’s a previous Harry Potter cartoon.
And here’s a previous cartoon taking a shot at anti-vaxxers (sort of…)

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