“Le poème du douchebag” (The douchebag’s poem)
Babe you are a fine female,
yet you look a little pale.
What you need, it seems to me,
is good ol’ fashioned Vitamin D.
Hey don’t go babe, hear me out –
don’t give me that MeToo pout!
I’m all in for women’s rights:
The right to feel my private parts;
The right to hear my dirty puns
(trust me I have nasty ones);
The right to be harassed by me;
I am God’s gift – can you not see?
Girl, what’s with that angry gaze?
Boy I miss the good old days
when men could tell some dirty jokes
without being cast out by folks;
When men could treat women like dirt
and pinch a hiney through a skirt.
Those days are long gone, and so now,
how’s a dude supposed to plow?
The Seventies – the golden years,
when sexual predators had no fears.
Man I miss living back then,
the best times for abusive men!