Meet Your Girlfriend’s Dad

Girlfriend's dad

When you sleep with your girlfriend
you sleep with her dad.
I know it’s disturbing,
it’s certainly sad,
but genetically speaking,
it’s technically true.
You sleep with your girlfriend –
her dad sleeps with you.

When you sleep with your boyfriend
you sleep with his mom.
I know it’s disgusting,
but let’s remain calm.
Your boyfriend possesses half
of his mom’s genes
Take a moment to think just
what it all means.

So sex with your partner
is like sex with his folks
with a few extra steps.
It is known, it’s no hoax.
I’m Sorry I ruined
your sex life for you.
(See, I don’t get any,
and now you don’t, too!)

If you’re one of those people
with fantasies ’bout
some incestral sex, well,
have some more doubt.
‘Cause besides of it being disgusting
(ugh, ewww)
you fantasize ’bout
having sex with, well, you.


Meeting your girlfriend’s dad is like going to the proctologist. There’s little joy in it for either him or you, but sometimes you just need to get your ass there and do it.


Want more comics? Here are all my comics featuring weird parents.
Show’em to your girlfriend’s dad next time you meet him. Either he’ll laugh, or you’ll cry.


Tell your girlfriend’s dad to follow me on Instagram and Twitter. It’s like subscribing to our RSS feed with extra steps.


Incestral History

Incestral History - by C-Section Comics

“Hey there Timmy, come and see
your incestral history.
We have always wed our kin.
We bred out, but mostly in.

Timmy, don’t you run away!
Hear what Daddy has to say:
You don’t have to be so sad.
(And technically I’m your grandad.)

Your sister can be your mom too.
Oh, you’re puking? Well, Boohoo.
Stop your retching, hold your pain,
listen to your dad explain:

Pharaohs did it all the time,
sex with siblings was no crime.
Oedipus? He boned his mom.
Sad ending, but he’s the bomb!

Remember Jaime Lannister?
That dude boned his own sister.
It’s all fiction, yes, I know.
They had such cute children though.

Timmy, you’re disgusted? Fuck!
Actually you’re quite in luck
(and this fact’s often discarded)
that you weren’t born retarded.”


Follow my terrible comics on Instagram and Twitter.


More on dad jokes.

Dad Jokes

Dad Jokes - Pun Cartoon

Dad jokes are a sad facade
behind them – an unhappy man,
lost in a suburban hell,
trapped inside in a minivan.

Dad jokes are a beam of light
for a guy who has no life,
gave up spare time for a job,
providing for his kids and wife.

So next time that you hear your dad
telling jokes that he ought not,
smile to him and hug him dearly
because my friend, it’s all he’s got.


More comics about dads?
Here’s a comic about Dad having “the talk” with junior.
Here’s a comic about Dad teaching us some table manners.
And here’s my entire parenting archive.


UPDATE: This comic reached reddit’s front page, generating interesting conversation about parenthood, frustration, and hope.

UPDATE 2: Some of you may know that if you hover over the main comic image, you may get an extra joke (try it now). Someone on reddit took the pun in the comic’s hover text seriously and printed this comic on paper to prove that it’s indeed “tearable”… Thanks, /u/coldstar !

Our Father in Heaven

Our Father in Heaven - by C-Section Comics

Our Father in heaven,
your children please bless.
since you are our father
in the literal sense.

We don’t ask for much,
not milk and not honey,
Because, like all dads,
you’re not made of money.

“Creator of worlds!”
Yet, zero income.
But don’t worry Father,
we’ll help you save some.

We’ll turn off the lights
and the heating. -“That’s better!”
-“Please God, I’m freezing!”
-“Oh shush, wear a sweater!”

No heating, no lights,
I don’t really need shoes.
New clothing? No thank you.
New phone? I refuse!

We can live without this
useless stuff, it’s a breeze.
Because hey, after all cash
does not grow on trees.

Still, if anyone’s capable
of making cash grow
on trees it is you God,
so let it be so.


God may not always answer your prayers in the way you expected, as also shown by this comic.

Here are more comics starring God.