Dogs and Bitches Archives - C-Section Comics

God’s Grand Plan

“It’s all part of God’s grand plan.”
Since humanity began,
karma, luck, and even fate
have controlled our lives to date.

That’s why we all felt much dread
when Nietzsche stood one day and said
that everything is random, ’cause
chaos rules, no divine laws.

Does the world have a grand plan?
Or was Nietzsche right? Oh man,
who am I to say who’s right?
This gives me a headache… g’night.

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Now you know why there’s a separate heaven for doggies.

Here’s another comic about a dreamy dog.
And here’s my entire archive of comics about God.

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Part of God’s grand plan is that you follow my comics on Instagram and Twitter.

I’m your dog.

I’m your pet, a good boy.
I protect you, and your toy
back I brought.

You’re my master.

You’re the leader of my pack,
but my nose you somehow smack
quite a lot.

We’re best friends.

But we’re no way equal, no.
“I’m above you, you’re below”,
I was taught.

And I hate you.

Boy I want to kill you, ooh!
I’m just kidding, I love you…
Maybe not…

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Here’s another comic about dogs, more precisely about the sexual preferences of dogs.

Now go give your tamed wolf a big hug, lest it dream of killing you.

Fido, it’s a bear, don’t dread –
Quick! Roll over and play dead.
Full respiratory arrest –
Good Boy Fido, I’m impressed!

Bear comes and sniffs Fido’s corpse
Such a trained dog! (Duh, of course)
Shake! Now heel! Jump like a frog!
Now beg for your life, you dawg!

Good boy.

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Here’s another comic about dogs.

Can you train a grown up man?
Yes my friend, of course you can!
You can easily train your man,
You don’t need a special plan.

From Lithuania to Japan,
from Morocco to Iran,
the minds of men are torn to bits
when they are shown a pair of tits.

—

When everything around you falls
and you feel that despair crawls
on your back or up the walls,
go and grab life by the balls.

Don’t let life own your butthole.
Stand up strong and take control!
Fight life with your heart and soul,
lest you’ll get life’s ten-inch pole.

This was just a figure of speech,
Life’s in fact a big bad bitch.
She has no balls, so best you reach
one of her nips and give it a twitch.