Frogs had swarmed the land of Egypt
Jumped and went all “Ribbit! Ribbit!”
They frightened the community,
but some saw opportunity…
See, one’s plague is another’s pleasure,
one’s junk is another’s treasure.
Some feel frogs are vile as dung,
while others feel them with their tongue.
——————
The habit of having eight days of presents for Khanukah is a rather recent, less traditional aspect of the Jewish festival of lights. It’s common today mostly in North America, imitating the habit of exchanging gifts on Christmas Eve.
And now for the price. There are numerous ways to pronounce Khanukah, but in order to properly pronounce it (as in Ḥănukkāh, in Hebrew – חֲנֻכָּה or חנוכה) you have to be either a Jew, a German, a Scotsman or a Klingon. The ‘Kh’ in Khanukah is pronounced like the “ch” in German “ach” or Scottish “loch”, or the “H” in Klingon (that throaty sound that Klingons make that sounds as if they’re clearing their throats or choking on a traditional jelly doughnut).
There at least as many ways of writing Khanukah as there are pronouncing it. According to Wiktionary, Hanukkah is the most popular form, but you can also write it as Chanukah, Hanukah, Hanuka, Chanuka, Chanukka, Chanukkah, Hannuka, Khanukah, Chanuko, Channukah, Hannukah, Channuka, Hanukka, Chanuca and Chanuccah. The forms Hannukka, Channukkah and Chanucca are very rare.
Confused? You won’t be after this video showing how to pronounce Khanukah:
Instead of spoiling yourself with eight days of presents, why not read some more comics about Jewish traditions, like this one about how the patriarch Abraham screwed generations of Jews, or this one about Jewish weddings, or this recent one about the wonderful Jewish tradition of arguing.
Happy Hanukkah and Merry Christmas everybody!
I used to love watching the questions only game on Who’s Line Is It Anyway, the reason being that growing up Jewish, I was all too familiar with the concept. My parents are masters of arguing questions only style. They can fight like this for hours. In fact, this comic is based on an actual fight they had the other day. The only difference is that my father has more hair, and my mother has less hair (but more eyes).
Generally speaking, growing up Jewish is awesome because you never run out of cartoon ideas. That’s probably why Jewish people are so funny.
And depressed.
Want some examples? Why not read some more Jewish cartoons? Like the one about how dragons would suck at being Jewish? Or the one about Jesus’s mom ? or the one about why your mom shouldn’t be your Facebook friend (especially if your mom’s Jewish)? See what I did here? With this last paragraph consisting of questions only? You didn’t see it? How didn’t you see it? How could a person with any sense in his head not see it? How do you expect to be successful in life when you can’t see such a simple thing? What do you mean you don’t want to be successful? Did I raise you that way? Ok my arms are getting tired, but we’ll talk about it tomorrow.
