Stay in the Kitchen

Stay in the Kitchen

Stay in the kitchen, don’t you go out!
I am your husband, but this ain’t about
no feminist shit or about you career.
There’s a war going on – and guess what: it’s nuclear.

Stay in the kitchen, it’s safe underground.
It’s so much more better than walking around
in a park that is covered with nuclear fallout.
Radiation is killer, did you have any doubt?

It’s fun in our kitchen, to cook and to clean
and to wash all the dishes. I hate to be mean
but you ought to have listened to what I had said.
Instead you went out, and now you are dead.

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Another couple’s misunderstanding here.
And here are some more comics about relationships (click on individual posts to see the bonus panels).

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Sit in your kitchen and enjoy more of my comics on Instagram and Twitter.

Useless Man

Useless Man - by C-Section Comics

You’re so useless ’round the house
you can’t even lift a hammer.
Why did I make you my spouse?
Life with you lacks joy or glamor.
You’re a useless man, you are.
Why can’t you be like my daddy?
He lifts hammers, he’s a star,
he is Thor! And you my laddie,
are you useless? This is tough…
Help me open this jam jar!
You succeeded? Wow you’re useful,
way more than I thought, by far.

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Here’s another comic featuring a Marvel Superhero.

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You can usefully follow my comics on Instagram and Twitter.

You can also subscribe to the new YouTube channel here.

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This comic made me recall a real old comic of mine showing how man evolved from a vicious hunting machine in to a modern useless man.

Throw a Penny to the Wishing Well

Wishing Well - by C-Section Comics

Throw a Penny to the Wishing Well / by C-Section Comics


My wife said I should throw a penny
to the wishing well.
Reluctantly I threw a penny.
Quickly down it fell.

I didn’t have just one small wish
I actually had many.
My greatest wish was that I hadn’t
thrown away that penny.

Why throw away a penny?
I think it’s rather foolish.
Maybe ’cause I work so hard, or
maybe ’cause I’m Jewish.

I think that being cheap is quite
a beneficial force.
My wife thinks rather differently
and hence comes our divorce(*).

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(*) I am only kidding, I’m still married to my wife.
She and money are in fact the best parts of my life.

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“Money isn’t all in life”, a phrase which I find funny,
in light of many awful things that people do for to money.

So I Heard You’re Doing Stuff Behind My Back

Behind my back - by C-Section Comics

When a love story begins, it’s all sunshine and rainbows and unicorns with fluttering butterfly wings. After years of searching you’ve finally found your soul mate. You date a couple of times, there’s a sudden “spark”, and then you fall in love. But it takes weeks, months or even years to develop a meaningful relationship, based on love, acceptance, and most importantly: trust. And then one day that trust is ruined. You find out your spouse is having an affair. The person you trust the most is cheating on you behind your back. They call it a life shattering moment, maybe because it’s the moment you realize your spouse has just shat all over your life.

In a way, finding out you’re a victim of infidelity is like finding out Trump won the presidency: the odds for it happening are more than reasonable, yet you’re amazed to find out that it actually happened. People who found out their spouse had an affair usually go through the five stages of grief – Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. It’s not surprising, because in a way, adultery often means that the relationship has ended, though many couples may seek to try and rebuild their marriage after an affair.

Personally, I don’t understand how could anyone who has a job find the time to have an affair. Especially married people with kids. Between my job and my kids, I can barely find the time to manage one relationship, let alone two. If there’s one that I gotta hand to adulterers, it’s that they have excellent time management skills, because affairs are so time consuming. They require so much handling – there’s so much logistics, and coordinating, and lies. Maybe that’s why so many managers and politicians have affairs – they’re not hornier than the rest of us, they’re just very good at time management and bullshitting people.

You may wish to go behind my back and check out some more cartoons about having an affair. Here’s a comic about the risks of cheating (NSFW), and here’s infidelity as presented on a Woody Allen movie. And to finish on an optimistic note, here’s a cartoon about how love eventually triumphs.

The Circle of Love

The Circle of Love - by C-Section Comics

The Circle of Love is like a donut.

A round, tasty donut.

A round, tasty, chocolate frosted donut. With sprinkles. And creme. And oh for the love of god who cares about love just shove donuts to my face!!!

Sometimes love is a circle, but sometimes love is a straight dead end line.

EDIT: This comic made it to the top of Reddit’s /r/funny, and was second on Reddit’s front page. As often happens when I post a comic to Reddit, it stirred quite a discussion. This time the conversation was about love, relationships, marriage and obesity, including some confessions from people who lost weight for love or to maintain their relationship, and a very interesting comment from a clinician who treats overweight people with diabetes on a daily basis.

As often happens with art, it gets interpreted in ways the artist didn’t expect. Some people saw this comic as me encouraging people to become fat and neglect their health, while my intention was in fact to support people who accept themselves, and their loved ones, without allowing anyone to discourage them. This is of course is not a substitute for people taking responsibility for their health. Where’s the balance? That’s for you, and your physician, to decide. Anyway, you can read the actual comments on Reddit.