Dad Jokes

Dad Jokes - Pun Cartoon

Dad jokes are a sad facade
behind them – an unhappy man,
lost in a suburban hell,
trapped inside in a minivan.

Dad jokes are a beam of light
for a guy who has no life,
gave up spare time for a job,
providing for his kids and wife.

So next time that you hear your dad
telling jokes that he ought not,
smile to him and hug him dearly
because my friend, it’s all he’s got.

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More comics about dads?
Here’s a comic about Dad having “the talk” with junior.
Here’s a comic about Dad teaching us some table manners.
And here’s my entire parenting archive.

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UPDATE: This comic reached reddit’s front page, generating interesting conversation about parenthood, frustration, and hope.

UPDATE 2: Some of you may know that if you hover over the main comic image, you may get an extra joke (try it now). Someone on reddit took the pun in the comic’s hover text seriously and printed this comic on paper to prove that it’s indeed “tearable”… Thanks, /u/coldstar !

Terrible Twos

Terrible Twos vs Teenage Years - by C-Section Comics

During that period called “Terrible Twos”
your kids will decide on their own don’ts and dos:
They’ll accuse, they’ll abuse, they will have their own views,
but most and foremost – they will refuse.

-“Dinner?” -“Refuse!” -“Sleep?” -“No, refuse!”
They won’t even put on their own goddamn shoes.
Terrible Twos go away, that’s good news,
but ten plus years later comes a teenager who’s
just as obnoxious and bent on “Refuse!”.

They cover their bodies with little tattoos,
in anger and pimples their lives are infused.
Whatever you do, you are destined to lose.
Parenting sure ain’t no luxury cruise.

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More comics about parenting:

Our Father in Heaven

Our Father in Heaven - by C-Section Comics

Our Father in heaven,
your children please bless.
since you are our father
in the literal sense.

We don’t ask for much,
not milk and not honey,
Because, like all dads,
you’re not made of money.

“Creator of worlds!”
Yet, zero income.
But don’t worry Father,
we’ll help you save some.

We’ll turn off the lights
and the heating. -“That’s better!”
-“Please God, I’m freezing!”
-“Oh shush, wear a sweater!”

No heating, no lights,
I don’t really need shoes.
New clothing? No thank you.
New phone? I refuse!

We can live without this
useless stuff, it’s a breeze.
Because hey, after all cash
does not grow on trees.

Still, if anyone’s capable
of making cash grow
on trees it is you God,
so let it be so.

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God may not always answer your prayers in the way you expected, as also shown by this comic.

Here are more comics starring God.

What Does Giving Birth Feel Like

Giving Birth - by C-Section Comics

“What it’s like to give birth?”

The experience of giving birth
is unlike anything on Earth.
Many women would admit
that it’s like having a big shit.

Individuals or as a group,
Men enjoy a solid poop.
Women? Don’t see poop as fun
(Not as much as men do, hun).

If men look at poop with such favor,
they should be the ones to labor!
But nature made it all complex
and handed birth to the wrong sex.

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Here’s a comic about being pregnant and scared.

Birds and Bees and Why It Stings When Daddy Pees

Birds and Bees - by C-Section Comics

Birds and Bees / by C-Section Comics

Son, come sit on daddy’s knees.
Let’s talk for a moment please.
Let’s discuss the birds and bees –
Hey, stop running! Stop it! Freeze!

Calm down son, just be at ease.
We won’t talk about disease,
we won’t speak of pubic flees,
we won’t chat about dick cheese.

We’ll have no chat on puberty
or how are children made and born.
For this you have the internet.
It’s why god gave us online porn.

We WILL discuss the facts of life,
No, not the stupid TV show.
I’m talking ’bout the facts of life
that every one of us should know.

The most important fact of life
does not relate to intercourse.
It’s all about how birds and bees
can easily kill us, of course.

So mark my words, dear child of mine,
and this will put things in perspective:
A bee-proof suit will surely be
your most efficient contraceptive.

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Another comic? Here you go:
This parent rants about old times
when online porn had just begun
and wasn’t really worth a dime.