Hip Replacement

Hip Replacement - by C-Section Comics

“Listen to my pro assessment:
your hubs needs a hip replacement,
so relax, get with the flow.
Hip replacement – here we go!”

First we’ll make him go to sleep,
then we poison him. Don’t weep!
I’ll wipe fresh blood off my scrubs,
You say bye to your dear hubs.

Meet Cool Steve, his hip replacement,
Listen to my next bold statement:
Cool Steve will take care of you.
He’ll be your beloved boo.

Steve’s so tanned. Such a great hue.
He’ll do awesome stuff for you.
Whoa Steve, tell me, why’s your hand
on my buttocks? MY it’s tanned!

OK lady, change of plan:
Steve appears to be MY man.
He likes me. You? Not so much.
I can tell it by his touch.

It’s a twist to our short plot.
Though I’m not gay, hell, I’m not.
I’m still straight but Steve’s SO hip,
that I’m gonna let it slip.”

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Here’s an oldie I drew about wrong side surgery (and other medical mistakes that should never happen).

And here’s more cartoons featuring doctors.

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You can follow my hip cartoons on Instagram and Twitter.

Anti Waxer

Anti-Waxer - C-Section Comics

Anti vaxxer, anti waxer
which is stranger, can you answer?
One won’t vaccinate her child
the other lets her pubes grow wild.
Freedom people, hey, rejoice –
It’s a matter of self choice.
Though they’re not the same, oh no.
One’s purely aesthetic, bro.
the other can make millions die,
can you guess which one and why?

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(Fun fact: I spent half an hour of my life contemplating on whether it should be “Anti Waxer” or “Anti Waxxer”.)

Here’s an oldie I drew in 2013 – how we react to vaccines. Even when I drew that one, I never believed that I’ll live to see outbreaks of measles, and so close to home, literally.

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More crazy shit on Instagram and Twitter

Vitamin D

Vitamin D - by C-Section Comics

“Le poème du douchebag” (The douchebag’s poem)

Babe you are a fine female,
yet you look a little pale.
What you need, it seems to me,
is good ol’ fashioned Vitamin D.

Hey don’t go babe, hear me out –
don’t give me that MeToo pout!
I’m all in for women’s rights:
The right to feel my private parts;
The right to hear my dirty puns
(trust me I have nasty ones);
The right to be harassed by me;
I am God’s gift – can you not see?

Girl, what’s with that angry gaze?
Boy I miss the good old days
when men could tell some dirty jokes
without being cast out by folks;

When men could treat women like dirt
and pinch a hiney through a skirt.
Those days are long gone, and so now,
how’s a dude supposed to plow?

The Seventies – the golden years,
when sexual predators had no fears.
Man I miss living back then,
the best times for abusive men!

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🙁

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More comics with strange guys trying to hit on girls at bars:
Geek Dating
Find a cure

Never. Say. But.

Never Say But - By C-Section Comics

Never Say But / by C-Section Comics

 
Don’t be a nut, never say “but”.
Especially when talking ’bout:
Gay rights, blacks and whites,
feminism, socialism,
evolution, prostitution,
altering the constitution…
I think you get the drift my friend:
if you don’t want to offend
the peeps around you don’t say “but”.
It’s best to keep your damn mouth shut.
 
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Want another comic? Here
(This cartoon is sorta queer):
Bizarro world where heteros get
nasty comments filled with hate
from gays
because they’re different,
and being different ain’t so great.

What It’s (Probably) Like to Meet Sir Patrick Stewart

Patrick Stewart Urinals Cartoon - by C-Section Comics

I’ve never actually met Sir Patrick Stewart, but this is totally how I think it would be. I guess the strangest place to meet the guy would be in the urinals of a public restroom. I started thinking about how would such a meeting go, and the script basically wrote itself. If this meeting was real, I would probably also ask him about the secrets of his eternal youth. The puns and dad jokes part? Well, it looks to me like something that fits Sir Pat’s personality, but who am I to say?

Going back to eternal youth part, there are plenty of Internet jokes about how Pat Stewart never ages. He looks young, almost exactly the same as he did 30 years ago on Star Trek TNG. Some say he’s immortal, probably a vampire. This puts him in a distinguished position alongside actors such as Sean Connery, Neil Patrick Harris, and of course, the original vampire, Nicholas Cage.

Vampire or not, I admit Sir Patrick Stewart is one of my favorite actors. I could attribute this fact to several reason. First, he stars in some of my favorite Sci-Fi, Fantasy and Historical movies and TV shows, such as “Star Trek”, “I Claudius” and “X-Men”. Second – his physical attributes: the mixture of his British accent, deep voice and charming looks. Third, his acting skills and his Shakespearean background. And last but not least, his immortality. I don’t mean him being an actual vampire, I mean that while the careers of some actors dwindle as they age, Patrick Stewart continues to be relevant, is vibrant as always, and continues to reinvent himself.

In the mood for some more cartoons? Here’s one about the 12 types of people you can find in urinals (Patrick Stewart excluded), and here’s a list of all our Star Trek cartoons.