Relationships Archives - C-Section Comics

Scottish Boyfriend

My Scottish boyfriend’s expertise
is using funny words like these:
Aye and Och, Aboot and Baw,
I don’t get these anyhow.
Whit means What and Moose means Mouse,
Ye means You and Hoose is House.
Why means How (Why? I don’t know)
Wee means Small ; And Naw means No.
Instead of Dirty he says Boggin’
(yes I know, it is quite shockin’).
Does he love me? I don’t know, but
he loves calling me his “Jo”.

————

Here’s another take of mine on the Scottish language.
And if you’re into puns, here’s another silly pun cartoon.

————

More Scottish If it pleases m’lady or m’lord, thou can followeth my comics on Instagram and Twitter. Haste Ye Back!

I also have a new YoutTube channel with cover songs for retro music of video games, TV shows and movie. You can subscribe to the new YouTube channel here.

Meet Your Girlfriend’s Dad

When you sleep with your girlfriend
you sleep with her dad.
I know it’s disturbing,
it’s certainly sad,
but genetically speaking,
it’s technically true.
You sleep with your girlfriend –
her dad sleeps with you.

When you sleep with your boyfriend
you sleep with his mom.
I know it’s disgusting,
but let’s remain calm.
Your boyfriend possesses half
of his mom’s genes
Take a moment to think just
what it all means.

So sex with your partner
is like sex with his folks
with a few extra steps.
It is known, it’s no hoax.
I’m Sorry I ruined
your sex life for you.
(See, I don’t get any,
and now you don’t, too!)

And,
If you’re one of those people
with fantasies ’bout
some incestral sex, well,
have some more doubt.
‘Cause besides of it being disgusting
(ugh, ewww)
you fantasize ’bout
having sex with, well, you.

————

Meeting your girlfriend’s dad is like going to the proctologist. There’s little joy in it for either him or you, but sometimes you just need to get your ass there and do it.

————

Want more comics? Here are all my comics featuring weird parents.
Show’em to your girlfriend’s dad next time you meet him. Either he’ll laugh, or you’ll cry.

————

Tell your girlfriend’s dad to follow me on Instagram and Twitter. It’s like subscribing to our RSS feed with extra steps.

———-

Her First

Cheer up Adam, you’re her first –
The first man Eve was ever with.
You’re her best and you’re her worst
(so says the creation myth).

Eve’s your wife, flesh of your flesh,
partner, friend, your children’s mom.
You should trust her, she is great,
so eat the fruit out of her palm.

————

Here’s another comic featuring Adam and Eve.

Trust me and follow my comics on Instagram and Twitter.

————

Here’s the biblical text of the creation of Eve (Genesis 2):

And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;
And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.
And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

Vacuous Truth

Members of an empty set in math (and logic) have it all.
They fulfill just any statement. That’s because, as you recall
an empty set just has no members, they don’t exist like me or you,
so anything you say about them, we’ll consider to be true.

Cats with wings can also sing, eight-legged dogs have a third eye,
humans that were born outside the milky-way can easily fly.
Listen, my fourth wife is nine feet tall and also she’s called Ruth.
This is not a lie my friend, in math it’s called a vacuous truth.

————

There ya go.

Now that you learned what’s a vacuous truth, you can read more comics about math, like this one featuring a wiseguy mathematician in the city.

————

Follow my vacuous comics on Instagram and Twitter. If you get to be my fifty-billionth follower I’ll tattoo your face on the inside of my right nostril. Scout’s honor.

To the Moon and Back

I’ll love you to the moon and back,
this I promise you.
But once I land back here on Earth
it’s bye-bye, toodeloo!

Baby, you are cute, but frankly
you are not that hot.
I can do better than you,
I’m an Astronaut!

If I sound like a douche bag
it’s because I’m one.
Bye bye baby, sayonara,
it was sorta fun.

Baby don’t be mad at me,
try to understand… Hey,
what’s that big red button
that you’re holding in your hand?

————

Here’s another comic with a guy who traveled to the moon, and way beyond.