Comics Archive - Page 8 of 79

Live Forever

Human rubs the lamp, swish-swish:
“To live forever, that’s my wish!”
Genie answers with a sigh:
“Your latest wish I must deny.
Son, you seem to be quite clever:
You can’t wish to live forever.
Eternal life? There’s no such thing,
’cause nothing is eternal – ZING!
All things once did not exist,
therefore nothing will persist
forever. Everything must end.
It’s sad but it is true my friend.
Planet Earth, the Milky Way,
will totally be gone one day.
Many billion years ahead
all you know will be quite dead:
plants and animals, mankind
(yes I know it blows your mind)
buildings, mountains, deserts, seas.
All the various histories
of all civilizations will
not be remembered. Whoa man, chill!
It’s pointless to be grim or sad.
Just live your life, it’s pretty rad!
Well, ‘Ignorance is bliss’, they say,
and you’re alive, so seize the day!”

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Live life to the fullest by following my comics on Instagram and Twitter.

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Here’s another comic featuring the Genie of the Lamp.
Here’s a comic dealing with what we can’t accomplish even if we live to be a hundred.
And here are some complementary comics about nihilism.

Carpe Diem all. Seize the day.

Tricky Tony vs. the Secret Service

The Secret Service agents in the presidential rally
didn’t see it coming, no. Thus from a shadowy alley
Tricky Tony then appeared sneaking like a thief.
“You can’t stop me from shooting our beloved commander-in-chief!”

The agent quickly drew his gun and aimed for Tony’s head.
Poor old Tricky Tony was about to become dead.
“I’ll shoot him with my video cam” our Tony added. “Phew,”
the agent heavily sighed and let the trickster pass. Woohoo!

Tony reached the President (who was very busy chattering)
and shot him from an angle that was viciously unflattering.
The President got mad “It’s even worse than killing me!”
For he was as narcissistic as any President can be.

He ordered all the snipers to take Tricky Tony down,
but Tricky Tony vanished quickly, ran away from Town.
Teehee! He almost ended up lying in a casket
for live-streaming videos of the President’s breadbasket.

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There are more Tricky Tony comics here.
And more comics about President Donald Trump here.

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Not sure who has the sillier outfit in this comic – Tony or the Secret Service guy.
Also not sure which angle WOULD be flattering in Trump’s cast, but still…

More of my unflattering comics on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook.
You can also subscribe to the new YouTube channel here.

Garbage

Jeff would not clean his own junk.
Won’t clean his room, sit like a punk,
play video games like all day long.
Won’t clean his crib, sit tight and strong
on his old couch, just drink his beer.
And so when it became quite clear
that there’s too much space-junk in space,
a danger to the human race,
they called him to the President.
But he sure had no real intent
to do shit. There was no real hope.
Jeff said it clearly: No ma’am, nope!

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Drawing this comic made me recall this quote by U.S Admiral (ret.) William H. McRaven:

“If you want to change the world, start off by making your bed”

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Here’s another comic featuring NASA.

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Follow my garbage comics on Instagram and Twitter.
You can also subscribe to the new YouTube channel here.

Sleeping Beauty

Sleeping beauty couldn’t fall
asleep. She couldn’t sleep at all.
Her phone’s to blame. Wait, it gets worse:
Maleficent’s own sleeping curse
couldn’t make her shut her eyes.
To me it comes as no surprise
that she’s immune to sleeping spells.
Bye-bye fair prince, bye wedding bells.
She’s off to check her social feed,
it’s really all she’ll ever need.

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Here is another sad tale featuring two Disney Princesses.
And here’s what happens when I use my phone in bed.

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Stay awake forever by reading more of my comics on Instagram and Twitter.

Tricky Tony Lurks in the Closet

Tricky Tony lurks in the closet.
Tricky Tony does it because it
is evil and sneaky and that’s what he is.
He earned both those titles, they’re totally his.

He won’t let her finish her damn Jigsaw Puzzle.
He’s got the girl’s nose, as well as the muzzle
of La Gioconda (a.k.a Monsa Lisa).
So evil, he’d con even Mother Theresa.

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Here’s a previous Tricky Tony Comic.

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More of my comics lurk in the dark depths of Instagram and Twitter.
There’s also a Tumblr account.

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