Comics Archives - Page 19 of 57

The Kim Jong-Un Binoculars Fetish

Here’s the poem about Kim Jong-Un binoculars fetish:

* * * * *

The Kim Jong-Un Binoculars Fetish / by C-Section Comics

Kim Jong-Un was quite a goon
but still he looked like a buffoon.
He needed a more manly look,
something not quite by the book.
Binoculars are a great prop,
they made him look like he’s on top
of everything. But let’s be frank:
he still looked like a kid on crank.

* * * * *

Here’s a previous comic ’bout
a dictator both firm and stout,
Gaddafi was this guy’s last name,
he set the Middle-East aflame.

* * * * *

I think it’s safe to assume that this website will now probably be targeted by North Korean hackers. If it does, then… thanks for reading and take care… It was fun while it lasted.

The Sex Life Roller Coaster

The Sex Life Roller Coaster / by C-Section Comics

This ain’t what you’d print on a billboard poster:
My sex life is much like a roller coaster.
There’s times when I’m up, there’s times when I’m down,
but most of the time – I don’t get to ride.
This is what causes my natural frown
and the reason my nutsack is shriveled and dried.
Maybe it’s ’cause I am married with kids,
and married men don’t get much action, but still,
maybe it’s just that my private parts lack
what most women would normally call “sex appeal”.

————

Need another comic? Why not, be my guest:
The Circle of Love, click on it, I don’t jest.

Pistachios Are the Fruit of the Hard Working Man

Pistachios Are for Hard Working Men / by C-Section Comics

Are pistachios really
for hard-working men?
To me it sounds more like
a pain than a gain.
You flex up your muscles
You put up a sweat
You work really hard
And what do you get?
A modest reward,
a moment of joy.
Two moments you say?
You’re lucky oh boy!
Long minutes of work
for a short lasting prize?
That doesn’t sound smart,
so you must realize
that pistachios are dumb,
and please take no offense,
but it’s working for peanuts
in the literal sense.

——

Never. Say. But.

Never Say But / by C-Section Comics

Don’t be a nut, never say “but”.
Especially when talking ’bout:
Gay rights, blacks and whites,
feminism, socialism,
evolution, prostitution,
altering the constitution…
I think you get the drift my friend:
if you don’t want to offend
the peeps around you don’t say “but”.
It’s best to keep your damn mouth shut.

————

Want another comic? Here
(This cartoon is sorta queer):
Bizarro world where heteros get
nasty comments filled with hate
from gays because they’re different,
and being different ain’t so great.

Phone in Bed

Phone in Bed / by C-Section Comics

I used to count a lot of sheep
just before I went to sleep
but now I take my phone to bed,
it helps relax my weary head.

A YouTube vid with funny cats,
news article ’bout democrats,
another WhatsApp message – beep –
my phone will help me go to sleep.

And when I finally turn it off
disturbing thoughts my mind would cough:
Work, death, who said earthquake?
my sanity is here at stake.

Who wants to be awake ’till dawn?
Not me! I’ll turn my phone back on.
I sure don’t want to stay awake,
a new approach I’ll therefore take:

Get ready Brazzers, here I come!
(pun intended, roll the drum),
I’m going on a jerkoff blitz –
instead of sheep, I’m counting tits!

—-

Got till here? Don’t leave so soon.
Check out this related toon:
“Phone addiction? Read the contract:
You’ll be making less eye contact.”