Abe the Honest Salesman / by C-Section Comics
Abe was taught that being honest is the way to go,
that honesty rewards you in the long run, even though
there is such thing as being too much honest, and that’s why
Way-Too-Honest Abe saw his commission go bye-bye.
——
One more tip guys, and I say this with all required fondness:
Never trust a man who tries to comb away his baldness.
——
Another comic ’bout a Salesman in a talking spree,
selling us a product we could surely get for free
Trump Trump Trump / by C-Section Comics
All I hear about is Trump.
In the morning – Donald trump.
Noon and evening – Donald Trump.
While I sleep and while I hump.
Even when I take a dump,
all I hear about is Trump.
Twitter, Facebook, evening news
I don’t have a real short fuse,
but if I hear just one more “Trump”
I’ll climb the window and I’ll jump.
I’ll hit the curb with a big “thump”,
if I will hear just one more “Trump”.
——
Hey come on, don’t be a grump
My cartoons also have Trump.
This cartoon (it’s kinda mean)
shows how Trump turns our world green.
And if you want some right-wing stuff
here’s where I call Obama’s bluff.
Livestock animals did suffer quite a lot of pain.
Conditions in those factory farms were actually insane.
The animals were crammed together into filthy sheds,
and didn’t get to feel the sunshine warm their little heads.
Jon was good of heart and couldn’t stand to see their ache,
the videos he saw had caused his gentle heart to break.
In their misery our Jon did not want to take part,
so Jon became a vegan, and did it with all his heart.
But one man turning vegan does not really change a thing,
so Jon tried talking to his friends in hope they’d follow him.
Most his friends liked eating meat, they didn’t want to stop.
He called them “carnivores” and almost blew off his own top.
So when Jon met the Genie he was genuinely glad
Finally a chance to make things good and fix the bad.
“You have one wish” said Genie and Jon told him with much glee:
“I wish that everyone was vegan, vegan just like me”.
“Granted” said the Genie, and this part was kinda neat:
Everyone immediately then stopped consuming meat.
No animal products, such as milk or eggs or wool.
To eat just rice and soy was suddenly considered cool.
As veganism spread to all the corners of the earth
Livestock animals lost all their economic worth
Farmers then stopped raising them, they too must make a living.
They opened the stockades and sobbed as animals were leaving.
Domesticated animals cannot live in the wild
and after they had been set free, all of them had died.
And so it happened that because of Jon’s extreme conviction
the animals he loved so much had suffered mass extinction.
A life of pain: better than death? Or is it maybe worse?
And can we put a stop to pain throughout the universe?
These questions are quite tough, I don’t have a real solution.
But a world with no meat eaters? I think it’s a delusion.
Animals are hurting, and it’s simple and it’s plain
that we must do the best we can to minimize their pain.
Free range farming feels to me like something rather smart.
It won’t solve everything. But it may be a humble start.
——
I’m not an expert on this subject – so if you have a moment,
and you wish to speak your mind, just tweet to me your comment.
——
Here’s a comic ’bout health aspects of consuming meat,
and here’s another wish whose outcome wasn’t very neat.
Son, come sit on daddy’s knees.
Let’s talk for a moment please.
Let’s discuss the birds and bees –
Hey, stop running! Stop it! Freeze!
Calm down son, just be at ease.
We won’t talk about disease,
we won’t speak of pubic flees,
we won’t chat about dick cheese.
We’ll have no chat on puberty
or how are children made and born.
For this you have the internet.
It’s why god gave us online porn.
We WILL discuss the facts of life,
No, not the stupid TV show.
I’m talking ’bout the facts of life
that every one of us should know.
The most important fact of life
does not relate to intercourse.
It’s all about how birds and bees
can easily kill us, of course.
So mark my words, dear child of mine,
and this will put things in perspective:
A bee-proof suit will surely be
your most efficient contraceptive.
——
Another comic? Here you go:
This parent rants about old times
when online porn had just begun
and wasn’t really worth a dime.
Throw a Penny to the Wishing Well / by C-Section Comics
My wife said I should throw a penny
to the wishing well.
Reluctantly I threw a penny.
Quickly down it fell.
I didn’t have just one small wish
I actually had many.
My greatest wish was that I hadn’t
thrown away that penny.
Why throw away a penny?
I think it’s rather foolish.
Maybe ’cause I work so hard, or
maybe ’cause I’m Jewish.
I think that being cheap is quite
a beneficial force.
My wife thinks rather differently
and hence comes our divorce(*).
——–
(*) I am only kidding, I’m still married to my wife.
She and money are in fact the best parts of my life.
——–
“Money isn’t all in life”, a phrase which I find funny,
in light of many awful things that people do for to money.
